late night lurking

I have been looking through old albums at all these women who went and had children, even as my own mother sleeps upstairs in the grip of a dementia that is taking her away from me bit by bit, and I think, how did they do it? Was it worth it? They brought people into this world only to love them terribly and then forget them utterly. Sometimes not without wounding them deeply on the way out. My dad is trying to eat his way to an early death. Is it worth it, doing that to your loved ones? Even if you don’t know you’re doing it at the time, because by then you are too far gone to know. Beforehand, I mean, when you can still make the choice: is it the right one?

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