Cut for copious pictures and spoilers for Dragon Age: Inquisition
“You’ve done well, Inquisitor. But are you ready for…THE QUIZQUISITION?!
Say what?! Who is this guy?! Where did he come from?! Where has he been all my other playthroughs?! He’s awesome! When he is done asking your question he says he’ll be back, “when the wind calls him,” and then stands there making fake wind sounds. So good! And am I ready? AM I READY?! Good sir, when my business trip followed the release of World of Thedas 2, that bigass tome was my carry-on. You are damn right I am ready.
My only worry is that, because my husband expostulated and whirled around (he’d never seen the guy either) when he asked his first question, and because of that I misheard it as asking what the Qun was instead of who its leader was (which yes, I knew, *polishes knuckles on lapels*), I said the wrong thing. I said the right thing next but I didn’t like it remembering that I’d gotten a question wrong when in fact I knew the answer. So I logged out and came back. But then now he doesn’t ask another question. Is that okay? Have I broken him? I knew the answer to the next question too! What if it–he says he has a timer–senses save resets and won’t keep him going if it knows you do that? (Don’t call my paranoid: if you ever played Wallaby Jack as a child you’d know to distrust this. Wallaby Jack, who if you didn’t put the clues together at the final part of the game by shining a flashlight on the clues carved on a cave wall in the proper order (which order changed from playthrough to playthrough! how the hell were you supposed to know where it was?!), would shut your computer down for you in punishment.)
Anyway. Quizquisition. It’s hilarious. It better come back and ask me things. I KNOW THE THINGS, SIR TRIFLES MINUTIAE. I KNOW THEM.
Of course I wouldn’t have found Sir Trifles, and likely missed him the first couple playthroughs, because I stopped going up to see Cole. Not this time! I went with Solas vs. Varric and made him more of a spirit, so he senses more problems now. Dining out with him is a joy. “So many hurts, even here, away from blood and battle. I wouldn’t have heard them before. Now I can.” And he whooshes around fixing them or trying to and it’s awesome.
Petty bickering? Cole’s on it. Social anxiety? Bam, soothed.
“That woman in the red dress thinks you would look good naked. She wants someone to compliment her hat.” Thanks, Cole. This guy thanks you too. The first person he does this to, the waiter in fact, is worried because “he wants to ask his wife to tie him up with silk ribbons, but he’s afraid she’ll hate him.” MELT. Because it doesn’t all have to be about forging new things; he can also be about making extant things work. Oh, Cole. I’m sorry I never played through your quests before.
The reason is the same reason I skipped lots, my first playthrough: the story pulled me along, and I’m actively resisting the urge to trot after it here, at this prime point for sidequests and dalliances. Because Here Lies the Abyss and Wicked Eyes Wicked Hearts are done, and the Inquisition is powerful and respected but you don’t actually have people telling you “Hey Corypheus and his army are camped over there, you going to do something about that?” yet. When they do start saying it, it feels awkward, RP- and lore-wise, to just say “yeah whatevs guys, I’m gonna go wander around the desert with my crew and look for broken bits of old Tevinter crap.” Kind of feels like you’re a bad Inquisitor. So this, right before What Pride Hath Wrought*, is the best time to wander about doing things. Even if I don’t want to because I want to keep going for more Solas cutscenes. And more Blackwall cutscenes because I never played with him before either. And of course this:
Which even now managed to surprise me! I usually choose the second option when talking to Cassandra about her secret love for trashy romances–that one just jumps right to the “don’t tell Varric” dialogue. But this time I chose the first option (where you tell her it’s not something she should feel she has to hide) which, hilariously, causes Dorian to just stroll out of nowhere and troll Cassandra. “I couldn’t bear to finish the last one you lent me. I actually feel dumber for having tried.” Boom, and then he’s gone. I laughed out loud. What the hell, Dorian? Where did that come from? Where did you come from? Why are you trolling Cassandra?** I was amused. “It’s smutty literature,” Cassandra explained stiffly. Then the Varric part picked up, and Dorian never appeared again for that whole little sideplot.
* Solas’ name translates to “pride,” you know. IS THIS WHOLE THING ABOUT HIM. DID I MISS THAT BEFORE?! Urge to carry on in main quest…so…strong…
** Are you a quiet commentary on the fact that with a few extremely polite and friendly exceptions, the vast majority of people reading and writing trashy M/M romance fic about this very series are not, in fact, males pursuing males? No? Am I reading too much into this? Probably. But where the hell did he come from otherwise?