I’m almost 30, and I never made an apple pie before. Apple pie (at least in the US, for well-known, justifiably spoofed reasons) is one of those recipes people obsess over. There are contests, jealously guarded recipes, Thanksgiving Day arguments over who makes the best kind…and yeah, I steered clear of that whole mess. But for our Halloween party I thought I would make an exception. So behold, the Blessed Apple pie from World of Thedas vol. 2!
- I skipped all the “optional: add more butter” parts, less out of a concern for health than for my supply of butter. And this STILL is an extremely rich pie. Extremely rich! I’ve had apple pies for which you ask for second helpings in one sitting. This is not one of those. Good for large gatherings, because holy shit you can only handle one slice in your stomach at a time.
- Next time I will buy better apples. These ones (6 of them I believe) were yellow and local but I think a crisper, tangier apple–so, the Granny Smiths everyone always uses–would work better. These weren’t bad, but they could be a bit sharper in their taste.
- I had never made a pie with a crumble top before either. I was skeptical, piling all the crumble on pre-baking–that’s a lot of crumble! But it does settle. Again though, very rich–there’s an entire stick of butter in the crumble itself. I wouldn’t even serve this with ice cream. The pie itself corners the market on your gastrointestinal real estate. Don’t push it.
- My mom always bought pre-made crusts, always, citing the misery of crust-making as reason to embrace modernity and the pre-made ones. But this wasn’t bad at all! Just knead it like you were baking bread, till it’s all crumbly like the recipe says, and mash it in there. Easy, and kind of fun. I discovered that I could tell my phone to play specific songs without touching it (hands being covered in buttery gunk as they were) so I sang along with the DA:I tavern music songs whilst crust-mashing. It was a good time.
Here is pie plus my Wedge of Destiny shield. There are straps on the back for holding, and yes you can see the notch where the dagger goes–but there is no dagger, because I used an actual sharp-bladed dagger to stick in there, which means that when I bent over it would slide out, endangering the dogs. Ah well. My plastic daggers are squirreled away with my pirate garb. I’ll pick them up at some point and put a safer dagger into the Wedge.