unintended consequences of watching every wes anderson movie with very young strangers

Realizing that:

1.) These kids can’t find happiness in anything unless everything broken is fixed, but

2.) neither could I when I first watched, say, Life Aquatic, wherein I now find myself

3.) defending characters I used to hate, specifically,

4.) when pressed, by rewarding them for their self-awareness of their flaws, which doesn’t deserve a medal really, and I would know because

5.) I’ve essentially become those characters.

Fuck.

Also realizing that I had a dream last night where I had a kid but the oceans turned to ice mid-crashing-wave and we stood on a frozen breaker in the snow as Staralfur played and I tried to explain that the ocean wasn’t always frozen, that the waves used to move; but I couldn’t make the kid see it. I was trying to be sad about it and s/he was practical and said if it weren’t frozen we couldn’t be standing there admiring the snow, could we? We’d sink.

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